"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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