I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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