K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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