He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
