Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
