what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
