I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
