I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
