Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
