"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
