Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
