Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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