The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
