She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
