The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize