The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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