WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no you cant smoke seaweed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
