we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
