when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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