Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize