is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
