We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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