Your tits are I can't wait for
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
