So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
