& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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