found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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