Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This toilet bowl is my home.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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