you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
