I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
