belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize