I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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