Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my shit smells like andre
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
