Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
