If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
