we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
