She announced her abortion via fbk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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