when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
