We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
