did you get engaged???
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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