i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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