Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
