And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize