Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
