Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's always time for handjobs
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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