dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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