Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
