I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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