Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you didnt know i had herpes?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
