can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
