once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
