Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
