Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
