Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
