just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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