so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
