well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
