Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
