You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
