the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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