i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
