i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
