Don't you send me to vm
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
