The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
