You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
