Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
