Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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