you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
