that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
