Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
